


Adrift

by trufield



Series: Harry S. Truman: One Man Animal Rescue [30]
Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: Angst, Hair Loss, M/M, also, but you know with such love it can never be too sad, handjobs, yep this is the chemo fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 19:48:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12283206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trufield/pseuds/trufield
Summary: Harry is different. Albert will make every effort to make sure nothing changes between them.





	Adrift

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if there is anyone actually waiting for an update to The Return fic - it hasn't been abandoned. The next chapter is just so _long_...  
>  I just needed to do a finished thing. 
> 
> This was going to be part of it but felt out of place...  
> [22 June - 4 July 2016]

When Albert arrived home Harry was different. If it wasn't Albert he might have got away with people thinking he'd just cut his hair shorter. But if there was one thing Albert had complete and intimate knowledge of it was Harry's hair. He sighed. 

“Harry, I don't mind but you can _talk_ to me about it.”

“About what?” The shakiness of his voice gave away his faux ignorance. 

“I'm offended if you really thought that hair would fool me.”

“...is it obvious?” Harry asked nervously. 

“Not to anyone but me I don't think.”

That didn't seem to reassure him any. They stayed in silence. Albert kissed his forehead in greeting and went to change out of his suit. He wouldn't press the issue as much as he might want to. 

Over dinner Harry found his voice. The dinner he wasn't eating because his appetite was non-existent. Another way in which Harry was being forced out of himself. He had probably lost weight but Albert couldn't tell. He hadn't seen him without a shirt. Hadn't been close to him. 

“Some of it… fell out today.”

Albert brushed his leg against Harry's under the table. Harry gave a shaky inhale. 

“I can't stand to watch it happen Albert. I- I cut it all off.”

“But you'd already thought about it,” Albert said gesturing to the wig. “You were waiting.”

Harry nodded, biting his lip. Albert reached out and held his hand. 

“As much as I like your hair, you _know_ I love you for much more than that.”

“I know,” Harry choked out. “But-”

“But nothing,” Albert said as he got up to crouch beside him. “Look at me.”

Harry shut his eyes and shook his head. Albert stood and held Harry's head against his chest and felt hair that was not Harry's own beneath his fingers. He felt like crying too. Harry clung to him as the tears began to flow. He slid from the chair in an effort to get closer and they both sat on the floor, Harry's face hidden against Albert's neck. 

“It's alright,” Albert said even though his own eyes were stinging. 

Harry had confided in him once that he had always wanted someone to tell him so when times were hard, even if he knew it couldn't be true the sentiment itself was reassuring. Albert didn't like to say anything he didn't mean but he understood and Harry was smart enough not to take him literally. 

“It's alright.”

\-----

Harry stopped going out. On the rare occasions that he did his hat went with him. He was never out long and he could use his exhaustion as the reason for that. Albert knew better. 

He tried his best but that was somehow more upsetting. His smiles became either shaky, distracted or sad. He didn't laugh. Albert could handle his depression, that was something they worked through together, but this was different. Different and so much worse. 

Albert hated leaving him. He wouldn't go far, wouldn't travel anywhere he couldn't return the same day. He couldn't stay at home either and he hated that too. His inability to do anything drove him insane the longer he had to witness Harry's downward spiral. He should be able to support him, regardless of how he felt himself, but he couldn't. Not every moment. He wanted to. He couldn't. 

Harry was in bed when Albert got home, as was usual now. He was facing away from the door. There was nothing on his head. 

Albert remained by the door. He might have been fooled that Harry was sleeping if he didn't know him so well. He was too tense. Albert considered leaving to give him space but Harry had surely put himself in this position to be found. 

“Can I come over?” He said instead. 

Harry tensed further.

“Yeah…” His voice was muffled by the duvet. 

Albert sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on his shoulder. He looked at Harry's head. 

It was patchy, especially at the back, where he had attempted to do it himself. There were cuts too, quite a lot - new and old, from where Albert assumed Harry had been frantic to finish the job. 

“Harry…” Albert breathed. 

He kissed his head before Harry could misread anything and kept kissing him, nails digging into Harry's arm. 

“Ah- Albert you don't-”

“Will you look at me?” The vulnerability of his voice seemed too stark and obvious in the silence. “Harry-”

Harry turned to face him, his own expression fraught. Albert kissed him again, properly this time, hands either side of his face. 

“...Thank you,” Albert sighed against him. His fingertips brushed against Harry's scalp and received a shudder in response. Harry kissed his forehead. “Will you let me shave it for you?”

Harry looked at him, unguarded and thrown by the question. 

“Yeah,” he said softly. 

“What about other places?” Albert asked, running his thumb across Harry's eyebrow. 

“I think it will be too weird. Too much at once.”

Albert kissed him again, moving closer, hands moving over Harry's chest. His desire to protect him was boiling in his gut, overwhelming him in this sea of emotion. He was drowning. 

“Uh, Albert…”

They hadn't been sexually active since before Harry started his treatment. Albert didn't mind. Harry needed space and regardless of his feelings regarding his own attractiveness, the drugs were screwing with his libido too. 

“ _Touch me_ ,” he couldn't help it. He didn't want Harry to feel obliged but everything had become too much. “We won't do anything I just- ah!”

Harry cupped his crotch, the heel of his hand pressing against Albert's cock. 

“Now maybe you'll believe me when I say I'm no less attracted to you.”

“Albert…” Harry smiled at him - a soft, delicate thing. Albert groaned. 

He straddled Harry's hips and moved against him. Harry held him still and Albert thought he may have gone too far. 

“Don't you want to lose some clothes first?”

Albert shook his head. 

“I just want you to touch me. If I hadn't already made that clear.”

Harry huffed out a laugh at that. 

“Quite clear,” his fingers brushed against Albert's cock through the fabric of his pants. Albert's hips bucked at the contact and he moaned. 

Albert unfastened his belt and Harry's hand travelled under his waistband. He shuddered at the contact. He took Harry's other hand and sucked at his fingers to give him some degree of lubrication. That hand joined the first and Harry kissed him as slick fingers stroked a steady rhythm. 

“Iloveyou,” Albert said in one shaky gasp as he rolled his hips forward. 

“So much,” Harry murmured against his jaw. “I'm so… lucky to have you Albert.”

Albert's breath stuttered and he shook his head. 

“Yes,” Harry persisted. 

“ _Harry-_ ” Albert came on Harry's shirt with a moan, his hand running across patchy stubble. 

Harry held him and Albert trailed the cuts on Harry's scalp with breathless kisses. Albert was pulled down to lay beside him but Harry seemed to change his mind and sat up again. He hesitated for a moment and removed his shirt. 

“You won't relax until this is in the laundry right?” Harry smiled and Albert hadn't even considered it. 

Before Harry could move further, Albert took it from him, balling it up and throwing it in the trash. 

“An extreme reaction,” Harry said and _laughed_. “Maybe I liked that shirt.”

Albert kissed him and pulled him down laying with Harry's arm across his chest and his nose against his neck. 

“Oh Albert, I'm sorry-”

“Don't be. Don't ever be,” he breathed. 

Albert didn't undress, didn't eat, didn't drink, didn't move. He remained beside Harry until sleep crawled over him and he woke the next morning. 

His fingers instinctively brushed against Harry's scalp. It was strange. He wasn't sure he would ever get used to it. He hoped he wouldn't have to. 

“Morning,” Harry said, lazy and bright. 

His smile was all Albert needed. 


End file.
